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  Ice Cream And Suicide

  By Jack Ray

  Ice Cream And Suicide copyright © 2017 by Jack Ray. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America by Amazon. No parts of this book may be reproduced.

  “And in this harsh world draw thy breath in pain. To tell my story.” -Shakespeare’s Hamlet

  Pandora’s Box

  How can I ever move on...

  No.

  I will move on.

  I’m finished with

  Your games.

  You’ve hurt me

  For the last time.

  This book is

  A testimony to that.

  I’ll show you

  Everything you’ve lost

  Everything you’ve forgotten

  Everything you made me feel

  Everything you did to destroy me.

  This is us.

  This will always be us.

  And this is all that’s left

  Of us.

  1201:16

  We were cold

  So you asked for hot chocolate

  Rather I was told

  That you needed it

  Snow fall from heaven

  Lights hang from every inch

  The show starts at seven

  Better watch the dance

  "You could do that"

  I always tried to encourage

  "No, I'm too fat"

  Trust me she isn't at all

  Ornaments sparked off the tree

  So we gathered round the center

  Didn't really impress me honestly

  But I was focused on her

  As we turned away to leave

  I asked about her hot chocolate

  She had something up her sleeve

  When she said "It's perfect"

  Then as we walked away

  My eyes were glued to her beauty

  I asked about her day

  "With you? It's perfect.”

  ~Why did you lie to me?

  Devout

  I told myself I’d stop.

  Stop loving the wrong person

  And quit giving my life

  To a façade who takes

  Everything from me.

  These are the lies

  I’ll tell myself.

  Secretary Of War

  Look at you

  Living like what you did

  Was nothing but a pinch

  When really

  It was an atomic bomb.

  Free Samples, Take One Please!

  I sympathize with those

  Who have been given a

  Taste of eternity

  Just to be told

  That it’s sold out.

  Blue-Ridge Mountains

  Her eyes are

  The rolling hills and skyline

  That tell the history

  Of her earth

  From creation to obliteration

  The moment I marched

  Into her forest

  Denatured her flora

  And enslaved her fauna

  Settled in that perfect world

  That was not so perfect

  After all, thanks to me.

  Women like her

  With eyes like her

  Are meant to be free.

  There is no one deserving

  Of them and to believe

  That you are,

  Is a slap in the face

  Of Mother Nature.

  Masochistic

  You know you do this to yourself.

  You break your own heart.

  Flood your mind with the thoughts.

  It's all in how you see yourself.

  Only you have the power to stop this.

  But I know why you haven't.

  Without this, what do you have left?

  Back To Square One

  I can’t say I didn’t

  See this coming.

  When will you learn

  To stop being so

  Stubborn

  And allow me to

  Finish what we started.

  Priceless Love

  You’re so precious

  With your

  Eyes of sapphire

  Locks of gold

  And heart of ruby.

  All too valuable

  But no one could

  Ever put a price on

  Your gorgeous body.

  Desire Isn’t A Strong Enough Word

  There’s not a spot

  On your body

  I want to forget.

  The softness of your

  Skin in mine.

  Every pore is unique,

  And yet they all lead

  To the heart of

  My angel of pleasure.

  My Confessional

  Truth is I do miss you.

  And yes

  I do want you.

  I want you more than

  Anything this

  Piece of shit rock

  We call Earth could

  Ever offer the likes of me.

  And there’s more too.

  The sound you produce

  May be the most

  Alluring and addictive drug

  To hit the market.

  I know this, yet I want it.

  I want it so badly.

  I want to play that drug

  On repeat 24/7/365.

  And when we encounter each other,

  It’s like the first time we’ve ever met.

  I’ll find myself staring at you

  Undressing you in my head,

  Revealing those cute curves that

  Make up the little frame of the one I love

  Because baby,

  The truth is I do miss you.

  And yes

  I do want you.

  ~Your secret admirer.

  Wash, Rinse, Repeat

  I am the ink

  That stains your clothes

  And marks your skin.

  Such an anomaly,

  This I am certain.

  Over Their Heads

  You know there’s a problem

  When someone says

  “Don’t tell”

  ...It was fun nonetheless.

  The Love That Strangles

  comes only from

  her. I need her.

  the love that strangles.

  smothering, suffocating

  my cries for help. blinding

  in passion to live

  again inside her blood.

  ignored. forgotten.

  a fool to man and

  a fool to her.

  the love that strangles.

  I hear her voice.

  a beautiful pitch.

  false promises are what

  she sings. a melody,

  a master, a slave.

  an orchestra of

  sound. she speaks in

  a tongue of deceit

  embodied in

  beauty. twisted hymns

  manipulate even a

  saint.

  the love that strangles.

  when you see her.

  cloaked in golden

  rays of desolation.

  eyes that pierce the

  soul of man, blue,

  as the talisman of

  Nazar. strong, lean,

  and inviting. Delilah.

  the love that strangles

  comes only from

  her. I need her.

  I need her.

  Out Of Batteries

  I laid into you

  To feel your heart

  Beat with mine,

  What I heard

  Was silence.

  Sadistic

  I cried out for help.

  The
pain of us

  Was numbing over

  But in a sick

  Twist of fate

  The only one I

  Could vent to

  Was you.

  The very person

  Who made me this way.

  Perceptions

  Sometimes I look at her and think,

  "Damn, she's otherworldly,

  There's not a single soul out there like her's."

  Except mine.

  Perceptions II

  It’s a crazy thing

  Thinking you’re so close to someone

  When really

  You’re worlds apart.

  Perceptions III

  You know as well as I do

  That the memories

  Begin to alter.

  They take on personalities

  Of their own.

  They become self-aware caricatures

  Of who we are and what

  We want them to be.

  Good,

  Bad,

  Or ugly

  Our minds show us what

  We believe,

  What we felt at the time

  Of sanctification.

  Heyyyy

  The amount of

  Self discipline

  It takes

  To keep me

  From texting you

  Is absurd.

  I Can’t Be Alone With You

  A relationship

  In which both parties

  Are afraid to be alone

  With each other

  Isn’t real.

  Illimitable Dominion

  There’s a tremendous

  Tragedy in the performance of

  Two lovers.

  One in which

  The brave and the bold

  Are ridiculed and denounced

  By the lame and the sheepish

  Till the brave become cowards

  The bold become servants

  To the serpent who pulls

  All the strings.

  And once the tongues

  Are tied in a knot

  That even the Almighty

  Could not untie

  The couple will live happily ever after...

  Never to be heard of again.

  Plan B

  Say it with me...

  I am strong.

  I am good enough.

  I will never be

  Someone’s backup plan.

  Green Mushrooms

  The hardest part is knowing,

  That we’ve come so far,

  That you’d never wanna start over

  And give us another chance.

  Looks Can Be Deceiving

  She’s the type of girl

  To walk you to the

  Edge of the earth,

  Spend the afternoon with you

  And shove you off afterwards.

  Good Mourning

  I know you don’t know this

  But I think you should...

  I wake up every morning

  To your face, smiling back at me.

  It’s burned into my skull

  Like a phantom longing for

  A place to stay.

  You follow me no matter

  Where I lay my head,

  I’ll awake and you’ll be there.

  And it hurts.

  It hurts.

  It hurts so bad because

  I would waste a million lifetimes

  Doing nothing but chasing you.

  Die day after day, if it meant

  Having you to hold again.

  I would latch on to that hope of us

  Like my world depended on it.

  Not just my world,

  But your world.

  In this case I would never let go.

  I would never let go of your world

  Just as you have never let go of mine.

  That’s why I see you every morning,

  I know you haven’t forgotten,

  And I know you still care.

  Deep down...it’s there.

  Our world.

  You Could Stitch A Quilt And Stay Warm

  Rip through my heart

  Tear it to pieces

  Believe me when I say

  There’s enough love there

  To go around.

  Gobstopper

  People act hard

  On the outside

  But really are soft

  At the core.

  You must have gotten

  This mixed up along the way.

  The Void

  My everything

  Dances in the center

  Of the floor

  Surrounded by rays of sunshine

  And petals from the most

  Exotic and extravagant flowers

  Known to sprout their beautiful bodies

  To this earth

  And yet

  No one...

  No one dances with her

  Because everyone knows

  That she moves in a way that

  No body can keep up.

  Especially not me,

  Who watches her in awe

  Across the floor

  In a void

  Loved by no one.

  Life In The Cage

  Hook me by your tongue

  Whisper in my ear that

  You love me

  Shackle the chain

  Around my heel

  And tell me that

  We’ll be happy

  Together forever

  As you prepare

  My collar and muzzle.

  The Love That Strangles II

  Tenderly touch

  And drag me under

  The fields of silk and cotton

  The heat of you against me

  Suffocate me with your heart

  And suppress all sound.

  We shall speak no evil

  Forevermore.

  Nostalgic Nightmares

  You dream

  Of meeting someone

  Just like me again,

  So you can have all your fun.

  Permanent Markers

  I never knew how embarrassing

  It would be to talk about you now.

  This Is An Audio Recording For Your Sanity

  Welcome to this weeks

  Guided meditation.

  Close your eyes.

  Stop and listen to your thoughts.

  Imagine you’re in your happy place.

  Imagine this wonderful place

  Surrounded by everyone you love

  Doing everything you love to do.

  ...

  ...

  ...

  Now open your eyes,

  And realize that this happy place

  Does not exist.

  Unrequited

  In an ironic way,

  It’s sort of funny

  How we learn to love those

  Who never seem

  To deserve it.

  Red Flags

  I’m looking for the answers...

  So are you

  And if you’re looking for help

  Go elsewhere

  Cause all I’ve found

  In my search

  In my youth

  Is heartache

  The longing for affection

  The hole it creates

  How you’ll end up

  Digging

  Digging

  Digging

  But ultimately drown

  In your own attempts

  At life after love

  You’ll drown

  Looking for the answers

  So go elsewhere.

  There’s No Cure

  Unlike her love,

  Her demons are contagious.

  Your Apologies Are Unapologetic And Untimely

  God, I hope someday

  Someone makes you

  Feel just like me.

  Alone.

  Then you can apologize.
r />   The Good Samaritan

  I’m slaving away

  At the pages

  Just to warn the others

  About your transgressions.

  Nothing’s Good Enough For My Girl

  I could give you the Sun

  Then you’d ask for the moon

  I would steal you the moon

  Just to beg for the stars

  Once I hand you the stars

  You would look up above

  See nothing up high

  In the black midnight sky

  Look me dead in the eye

  And demand the Earth.

  The Love That Strangles III

  Oh the things I would do

  To be with you

  Are ruthless and cold

  But daring and bold

  I’d fight every villain

  I’d slay every monster

  I’d stand up to darkness

  And strangle the heartless.

  But truth be told

  I’d follow blindfold

  And show those that taint gold

  The end as foretold.

  This Is Not Rhetorical

  Are you competing

  With the Devil

  To see who can

  Collect the most souls?

  I’m sure you’re winning by a landslide.